John-Furie-Zacharias

I'm starting right where I left things in July 2011. The key is not to stuff down your feelings, or to avoid your anger, your fears, your sorrow. People who want you to believe this are just full of crap. The real deal is to manage to use this emotional fuel to move forward - to turn it into a force, so powerful, so devastating but you and only you have the entire ability to handle it. Once you get there, there's no turning back. And this is where I am. I'm feeding upon my grief, upon my joys, upon my wrath. My creativity is my soul. Next month, I'm getting my first tattoo. "May I never be content I'm Jack's May I never be complete Br

Everything is just going wrong. I can't find my iPod (a old gift from my mother), and I'll be broke at the end of the month (oh, well, probably long before). Nobody is helping me at work, and my supervisor is sick - I'm hoping he'll be fine soon, but I'm so pessimist lately, that I highly doubt so. I asked him if he still loves me, and the only answer I get was a bunch of insults. So much for the romance. I should have see this coming. After all, he proposed me when we were dating online, after a few months. Of course, he didn't want to speak about it when he came here. What was I expecting ? He couldn't find a job here, he had to stay at

I screwed everything up. So badly I can't even look at myself anymore. He's gone and my heart with him. He won't even talk to me again. And I just want to die. Do you know this urge ? This sensation that rushes through your body, screaming at your ear that you need to disappear. I want to die, right now, to stop thinking at the mess I created. I want to hurt myself, to transform this excruciating pain that slowly kills in something I can almost control. My skin is itching, deep, deep underneath. I lost him. Because I'm stupid, because I can't handle the pressure at work, because I'm too proud to admit it. I'm a stupid girl. That doesn't d